I’ve come upon some clarity.

I feel like my entire identity is the sum of many safe, comfortable actions.
I feel like I am too scared to fail at things, therefore I’ve become a master of what I already know how to do, what I’ve known how to do my whole life.

My life is like that awesome t-shirt that you keep for way too long. I make these choices, I lead this life that is comprised of barely risking anything, of being far too hesitant about trying anything new. The choices I make only lead me to the same results over and over. What does that leave me with? These dead dreams that hang on me like chains. Dreams that belong to my younger self. A good chunk of me is devoted to beating dead horses.

I’m sick of being ok with hand-me-downs. I want to start a life that is more in tune with where I’m really at, at this age. On my own. With all this freedom. I want to create a life of my own. I want my life to depend on me while exceeding the bare minimum. I don’t want to just get by, I want to succeed. I want my successes to be mine.

I have some new exciting goals. Fresh ones. And I’m incredibly excited about them.